I'm on a complete wedding kick for some reason and this time its all outside farm country wedding and that is so me...

Here's my venting: You told me to grow up and I am so you can't really get mad at me when I do something a little grown up... if he breaks my heart then that's my problem not yours... he makes me happy and shouldn't that be what you want... he's not a bum, he has a college education with a good job and treats me like I should be treated, so what if he's been married before and we fell in love in a weird circumstance. And if the only complaint you have is your father is going to be mad and that's not very professional of you then shut up and leave me alone...

I'm wishing now that I would have ordered me a pair of Toms about a week ago that way I would have them for this upcoming weekend. The bf and I are going to some race (his thing, not mine) where I have to wear long pants, tenni shoes, and no skimpy tops... beings that I never really wear anything too crazy the wearing pants and not a skimpy top is no problem. But I still would like to look cute and that is hard to do with my lack of good tenni shoe wardrobe. Don't get me wrong I have tons and tons of athletic tenni shoes but that would just throw off the whole outfit. So, I will keep looking and hopefully pull something cute out of somewhere... pray for me.

toms shoes...

Nerd Lovin...

fredflare.com

Going through my crazy large closet at m apartment last night before class I pulled out all teaching appropiate clothing or just about anything I liked that was still in there and I put together an outfit similiar to the picture I posted yesterday. I had trouble deciding what shoes to wear but I went with the trustworthy AE flip flops that I have had forever because I'm on my feet all day.

The bf and I had a relaxing night of watching tv and laying in bed talking after I got done with class and then eating with a really good friend of mine. It's nice to have a girl to talk to that I can actually say something about the bf to because of the whole secrecy thing. But overall a great night. My kids are doing busy work today so I plan on doing more online shopping.

American Eagle Boardwalk Dress

I'm in love with this dress, and I'm always for a little cardigan over a dress with a belt. I do need to do some more shopping at some point.

It's official. I'm at a loss for what to do with my life. I'm doing long term substitute teaching for a 7th grade science class now and everyone seems to think I should go in to teaching, the only thing is instead of graduating this December I would have to go back for a while, and that doesn't sound too appealing to me. I haven't been shopping in a really long time and its because my paycheck has been wimpy the past 2 times. But I really need to, my teaching clothes are barely there. And a lot of stuff I can't wear because of the whole dress code thing and then the whole cleavage thing. Because middle schoolers get a little crazy when you show so much. It's a little annoying always having to think what I can and can't wear because of all the crazy rules and it doesn't help that my mother works at the same school that I work at and is always commenting on my wardrobe and how I need to dress correctly for the work place and I am one to say that I dress better than most of the teachers that work here. But as for anything else in my life there isn't a lot other than I'm majorly in love with the man I plan on marrying. We've only been together for a little over a month but I just have that feeling. It's crazy. We have to do the whole secret relationship thing because he is the other assistant coach of the ball team I am coaching while I am teaching. He's also 15 years older than me and has a kid, but for some reason it just feels right. But age is just a number isn't it? I've met his whole family, and absolutley love them. The only thing I'm freaking out about in this relationship is the whole my parents thing. I don't believe the age will matter to them, it will be the whole he's been married before and has a 12 year old daughter. But what is love if it doesn't have its struggles? He loves me. For the first time in my life I actually believe that he does. We have talked about buying land and building a house or finding a good chunk of land with a house already on it. He owns a horse and would like to have more so finding some land is our first thing we want to do. We have plans, we've talked about marriage (it won't be for a while) and kids (again, awhile), what we want to do after I graduate in the fall and where we want to be. He lives about 30 minutes from where I go to school and have my own apartment so whenever given the opportunity I stay with him. This past weekend I came over on Friday and we grilled out that night with some friends of his, Saturday we went to practice together that morning and went out to eat with those same friends down in Clarksville, and Sunday was the best; we woke up, fixed breakfast together, hung out a little watched a movie, and then we went out to the farm where he keeps his horses and we went riding. I was scared out of my mind because I'm pretty sure I have never been on a horse a day in my life. I kept telling him everytime I sneezed I was getting the city out of me. But we rode double so I got to wrap my arms around him all day, and we were out there by ourselves so it was just me and him doing all the farm things. But I love him. And that's all that matters right?

I can't express how happy I am for March 14th to get here! I'm almost done with school!

For some reason I can't seem to get a job to save my life. I'm really tired of trying. So, my mother has the bright idea for me to substitute teach... It scares me to death... I'm not a fan of kids in large numbers... But what if I really do like it and then I want to be a teacher and then I have to do a lot more schooling and then my parents won't pay for it and then I'll be stuck with degrees that don't do anything... Bah on Life.